Happiness, Relax, Wellness, Work Life Balance
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Talking under water: talent or setback?

Recently I read a book that explained to me the different personality types within DISC profiling.

While I’ve read different versions of this thinking before, this book highlighted how various personas relate to each other, and the things we need to do to get the best from a situation or person.

It was interesting and refreshing to consider, particularly from a workplace and personal relationship point of view. It also led me to think about my own personality type and the people I naturally gravitate to.

If you’re reading this and know me, you’ll know that I’m both outgoing and loud, but also  often quiet and reserved. A total contradiction!

Put simply, when in big groups I tend to go one of two ways – talk like crazy or retreat and sit quietly. The people and personalities I’m surrounded by and how comfortable I feel govern this.

I tend to talk more when the conversation is at risk of lagging as I hate awkward silences…

In many circumstances this is a great asset to have. I can connect easily with others and when at events, presenting in front of large audiences, or meeting new people, I’m not afraid to speak up and share my opinion.

In a professional sense, this is a valuable strength as I often work with execs who pay me for my experience – giving fearless advice is critical to generating stellar results.

But on a personal note, my mouth can sometimes run away from me and I end up saying something I didn’t plan on speaking about. This is particularly true for secrets. I’ve never once kept a gift for my fiance under wraps. It kills me every time!

When I do spill the beans or speak off track, I’m always the first to beat myself up for not adding value to the conversation, which is crazy because not every conversation has to be THE BEST CONVERSATION EVER. Oh the pressure we put on ourselves!

What’s my point here? Sometimes I fear not meeting the expectations of the conversation and people in front of me. This is because it is my personality type to try and please others.

Interestingly, 74% of us have some degree of a people focused personality type, so it seems I’m not alone in my weirdo actions, hoorah for that! 😉

While the thought of a bad conversation is terrifying (admit it – we’ve all been there!), sometimes we just need to just chill and go with the flow, not lead or say what it is we think others want to hear*. You’re not responsible for the experiences of everyone in the room and in all honesty, the best situations are when you simply radiate your true self. It sounds simple, but its also here authentic, enjoyable relationships with real gumption are built. Who would have guessed it?!

So if you’re like me (and three quarters of you are) try not to stress about always being the people pleaser when talking or meeting new peeps. Well, for at least some of the time if that’s possible. Talking underwater is definitely a skill, you just have to own it. 😉

*Thought worth noting, I never say what others want to hear at work. Here I’m rather bullshy and always honest.

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